Here is how you get people to do what you want. To get people to do what you want them to do, they need to know the definition of the initial problem, the background, the process that was followed in solving it, what options were considered, what other solutions were explored. Find someone to be your idea champion and enlist them to spread the word about what you are doing. You might put it out into the social media platform you use the most and see if anyone bites. You don’t need to send flowers or chocolate every time – or at all! If you are one of the individuals who people don’t take seriously and you wish they did, then try out this super fun trick to make them do just that. The crowd usually look at other people’s eyes to make the decision of which way to walk. You don’t always have to ask directly for help every time you need something. Your message is important to you, and to get others to believe in it, you can shape it in many ways. It will make it look like you two are a good fit for each other. In addition, make sure you are paying attention to the person as you ask them. You can send a short thank you note that you mail. We changed the way that the crews felt about what they did. Even the world’s most successful people hire people to help them. Ask what they need, what they are struggling with, and how they see your skills, knowledge, and abilities as being something that could help them get to their goals. If you want someone to like you, make sure to keep your hands warm and before shaking the hand of that person. People say they want sympathy, they need empathy. Note: we didn’t say they need to like you, or approve of every single thing you do throughout your day. Psychological research suggests there are plenty of ways to get people to do what you want — without them even realising you’ve persuaded them. Here’s how you can persuade others to agree with you. How to get it: Talk about a beach vacation you took using sensual terms (e.g., "The … People still love mail. A study published in the book How To Get People To Do Stuff highlights people’s need to feel like they belong. They are the ones most likely to do something simply because you asked. In short: if you want to get a specific result, … Get People to Do What You Want is the perfect modern complement to Dale Carnegie's 1937 classic work on the topic. 4. Warms hands make you seem trustworthy, inviting and friendly. Sounds crazy to even suggest that, we know, but if your phone rings during the conversation, don’t answer it. If you to want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter or Facebook. When you need to get something done, you cannot have your own way or you cannot expect the other person to be wholly committed to whatever you would want. You will gain an upper hand in your interac In business, school, romance, or your neighborhood, it is valuable to know what attracts people, what repels them, and what makes them tick. Engage them in the problem-solving. You can tug someone’s feelings of guilt and favor to get what you want. As a leader or a marketer if you want an employee or a customer to change behavior, research says the best thing to do is give them positive reinforcement when they do what you want. Let me know in the comments below, as well as the things YOU DO to encourage people to do what you want. When you want to get people to do what you want, just confuse them. Different approaches yield different results. PS: Just as a reminder, one resource I urge you to check out that also does a great job discussing these types of motivations is Joe Sugarman’s book Triggers. You can use that to your advantage and let other people talk and tell you what they want and need. Want to get something out of a person? If you are sitting there thinking about how you can take your idea, business, goal, or learning to the next level, seek out some help to get there. To get people to do what we want we have to find a way to do it without telling them. Here is how you get people to do what you want. The key here is clarity. Negotiating The Most Effective Method to Get Someone to Do What You Want Use the "scales of influence" model to persuade people to do what you want--while thinking that it's their idea. Whether you want people to like you, to agree with you, or to buy your products, use these tips to feel more powerful in your everyday interactions. Make yourself invaluable. 4. …but one is this: people should want to work for you. A little flattery can go a long way. There’s no point in beating around the bush when it comes to asking for help. At this point, it may be time to offer a compromise, as this will allow you to get at least some of what you want … As a leader or a marketer if you want an employee or a customer to change behavior, research says the best thing to do is give them positive reinforcement when they do what you want. Let’s say you want them to work over time to get everything finish by tonight because of the upcoming Thanksgiving break. We didn’t even say they need to be completely fulfilled at work 100% of the time… Your employees need to want to work for you, and with you. It’s common sense and just rude to do otherwise. An indirect ask with an unclear objective is going to get an unclear response. Do bear in mind, people are complex individuals, and you can’t always get them to do what you want them to do. 11 Simple Ways To Get Rid Of Your Inner Fear, 7 Reasons Why Quitting Facebook Now Is Good for Your Future, How to Prioritize Right in 10 Minutes and Work 10X Faster, How to Be Amazingly Good at Asking Questions, 20 Best Inspirational Speeches from the Movies, The Secret to Getting People to Do What You Want, FBI Agent Teaches Us How to Develop Will Power, How These Kids Define Success Will Touch Your Heart, How to Not Take Things Personally for a Happier Life, How to Let Go of Toxic People in Your Life, 7 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be a Happier Person, 50 Red Flags You Should Watch for in Your Relationship, 40 Acts of Kindness to Make the World a Better Place, 8 Reasons Why Teamwork Is Important at Work, 10 Ways to Build Positive And Effective Work Relationships, How to Find a Mentor That Will Help You Succeed, How to Change Careers Successfully When It Seems too Late, How Relationships Building Helps Achieve Career Success, How to Write a Letter of Recommendation (With Templates), 12 Practical Interview Skills to Help You Land Your Dream Job, How to Make Going Back to School at 30 Possible, Why You Can’t Focus? People 5 Incredibly Effective Ways to Get People to Do What You Want You can get what you want in life if you follow a few simple techniques of persuasion. People more incline if you make it not able you, you, you but about we, we, we. There are plenty of ways to get people to do what you want — without them even realizing you’ve persuaded them. If you want someone to carry something of yours, like your books, then do this. In Get People to Do What You Want, you'll find the practical answers to these questions and in the process, discover how to win people over. I’m Lachlan Brown, the editor of Ideapod and founder of Hack Spirit. Here’s how knowing about these four types can help you get people to do what you want. (Watch out for a little thing called Obliger Rebellion however. However, you’re always entitled to make the attempt, and in that I hope that this guide will act as a useful reference! Accept that fact. How To Get People To Do What You Want - Without Telling Them What To Do. Listening is the key. Align their goals to yours. Whenever they use that word or something close to it, simply offer an affirmation, nod or smile. Before you waste time trying to get someone to do something, make certain they have the potential to do what you want. Moreover, they might feel obliged and pleased when they help you. Reaction to kindness, or Benjamin Franklin effect. If you want to persuade others to do something, you need to be specific on EXACTLY what it is that you’re asking them to do. Hopefully, this has been helpful. You don’t go to war with the army you want, you go with the army you have. They are most likely to agree to a second, more reasonable request in comparison to a big one you asked for first. If they also yawn then they have been watching you as yawning is contagious. Don’t give up. If you supply what someone truly needs, they will do anything you want. And, it’s quite possible that they are too shy or fearful to ask for your help. We don’t say the things we want out loud. Regardless of how you decide to ask for the help you need, make sure you are honest and open about the intended result. Praise. If we want to get a teenager to clean their room our first instinct is to tell them to do it. We created the conditions that allowed them to care about what they did, they became engaged, they were proud of what they did. You might send an email to your contacts and ask for help that way. This will automatically make the other person talk and divulge all the necessary information. It’s a tough job to make kids eat broccoli or brussels sprouts. If you are comfortable reaching out to people asking for help, be sure to send them a thank-you present or gift after you get the help you need. Sometimes, despite your persistent attempts to convince someone to do what you want, you may end up in a stalemate where no one gets anything they want, including you. Yawn and look at the next person. People tend to trust the advice offered by fathers. If you want to clear through a crowded subway, street or anything similar, then direct your eyes towards the pathway you want to go and watch the crowd follow it. What you want: To seem more alluring when you meet a guy. Keep talking while handing your books to them. But if you follow up asking for a simple $25 donation (the amount you actually wanted in the first place) you’re much more likely to get it than if you’d started out asking for the $25. This will make the person believe that they agree with your words and ultimately agree with you. This is known as the "disrupt-then-reframe" technique and is famous for being a sneaky way to get people to cooperate. Nod your head whenever you are asking a question. Get them what they want. Want to know which you are? The answer? If you are like most people, you want to win the lottery, but you probably don’t buy tickets very often. Whether you need a connection or introduction, an extra hand moving, or a fresh perspective on an article you are writing, if you ask someone for help that takes them away from what they are doing to focus on what you are doing, send them something to say thanks. All Rights Reserved. When talking to someone, choose a word that another person has said. If you’ve been doing the work to try to get the help you need and it’s not working, it’s time to try a different approach. They will choose the least number and end up eating broccoli. It might take a little more than a few minutes to motivate colleagues or managers to pull those bigger favors for you, like a raise , promotion or referral to a new job. Obligers are the most common type. History tells us that Benjamin Franklin wanted to befriend a person who did not really like him.This person was looking for a rare book, which was in Franklin’s possession. Inc. 10,057 views. The bigger the cause of the work at hand, the more people are willing to put in the extra effort and show up on time with a positive attitude. Give the person the attention and dedication you would want them to provide when giving you the help you are asking for. Lockdown diaries: Being lonely and being alone are not the same thing, The strangest thing men desire (and how it can make him crazy for you), Why I’m happy being single and not in a relationship. If they lack the necessary prerequisites, forget it. Do you feel like someone is watching over you? Here’s how you can trick them to eat broccoli. Knowing that, to get people to act accordingly to what you want, make it their idea. We all accomplish more when we work together. Make no mistake: if someone can help you, there is probably a way you can help them. They can do the same for you. If you follow this advice, you are more likely to get people to like you and do things for you. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. Do yourself and them a favor and offer to help them. You don’t need a psychologist to tell you the reason: You don’t expect to win. If you want someone’s help, ask for it. It is our function to prepare them for life and part of that preparation includes telling them what to do, because we know best. When you want to make an important sales pitch to a tough customer, propose a risky business plan at work, or gently convince your significant other to start exercising, sometimes getting people to do or agree to what you want using basic human psychological truths isn't such a bad thing after all. So often we develop the solution and then try to get people to help us implement it. The more people you know, the more opportunities you will have. When asking for someone’s help, be sure to mention that you want to return the favor of generosity. 7 Ways to Get People to Do What You Want Them to Do (and Feel Good About It) | Inc. Magazine - Duration: 5:15. You will also expand your support group, as you will meet people who can help you on your path to achieving your goals. Use nouns instead of verbs. If you ask, then immediately start into the “rock, paper, scissors” chant, they’ll almost always defensively throw scissors. Have a song stuck in your head that you want to forget?